Today... i feel ugly.

Today i feel ugly, not on the outside, but on the inside. Someone i used to be close to has passed away, and while there have been some good memories come back, i still feel resentful about the matters that caused us to part ways. On top of that i feel resentful that they dared to pass away when i was almost prepared to bury the hatchet with them (as opposed to in them, which is how i had felt for years.) 

Yes, i know that i'm being hard on myself and that anger is a part of the grieving process. But it's one that i am not handling right now... the missed opportunity is very painful and it's something i'll have a lot of trouble forgiving myself for waiting on.

(please note: some of you may know who this is about. please do not name names, i do not want to upset those who knew this person, but i did need to let this out.)